Tag Archives: guardian angels

Let Me Handle The Rest

WOW! So, I’m 29! Wow!

A year away from 30. Wow.

I mean, I always knew I would reach my late 20’s, but when you’re a teenager, it seems like an impossible feat. Now, here I am: with a secure income, a wedding in the works, and planning out “grown-up things.” (Take a look, little me: it’s not so bad after all!)

This week was the way to start birthday weeks! For one thing, I’ve been slammed with job hunting. Then, lo and behold, by the guidance of God and my Guardians, I’m there! I get the call Monday that I have a job with the local library! The hunt can end! I can move on! The plan is set, the pathway is in motion!

F I N A L L Y!!!

Of course, as is the nature of life, there’s still concerns–some of them pretty major, such as my father’s steadily declining health. Yeah, that’s always on my mind and in my prayers. (Side note: if you all could pray for my family, that would be wonderful!)

But, as for me, myself, and I? I’m doing pretty all right.

It astounds me that all of this fell into place. Not even just for me, but so much more is continuing to settle, that has been years in the making. It all seemed to start after I heard the words of God and my Guardians in my head on Sunday, which had been a stressful day. However, I remain firm in this: it was a challenge because a lot of pent-up negative energy had to be released. It was only when that energy had left the situation that I heard the words:

“Are you doing the best you can? Yes? Then let me handle the rest.

It’s really hard to give the reigns of our life to Beings we don’t even fully comprehend.  That’s been the biggest challenge this year for me. Yes, we have to do the work. We can’t pray and expect gifts to fall in our laps, that’s not how life works. Truly, it’s scary to put your life–your livelihood–in the hands of something unseen, especially when you’re like me: a person who holds on to worry and stress when things are uncertain and wants to control all that she can.

Despite being a Christian and professing that we “put all our worries at God’s feet,” it’s still hard to do when it’s something that could make or break you. It’s hard to relinquish control.

But, really, truly, through all of this, I’ve been reminded that God’s got this. He’s always looking out for us, and molding things out of the paths we journey down; making the best of every situation and teaching us lessons we need to pick up along the way.

Additional lessons that I have learned, or expect to be learning in the near future:

  1. Realizing exactly how frugal I can be. And that’s something I’ve needed to learn for a while now.
  2. Juggling two part-time jobs, my social life, family activities, all while working on my wedding and the completion of my novel. WOO DOGGIE, that’s going to be a doozy!

But, with the help of God and my Guardians, I’ll take it one step at a time, knowing I’m being guided, by them, towards a better future, with more lessons to learn, and more life to experience. I’m looking forward to seeing all the ways I develop, and what new lessons I learn, in this next birth year. I’m going to work hard–I’m going to do the best I can–and I’m going to put my trust in God and my Guardians. They have the rest.

A Year Of Rebuilding; Choy’s Death Day

This time last year, I was a complete mess: my kitty, Choy, whom I had grown completely in love with, passed away unexpectedly. (See: “Coping With Loss, Partnering With Change” and “Normal vs Abnormal; Recovering and Renewing”)

I was not only broken emotionally, but physically and spiritually as well. It took a good couple weeks to stop feeling a pressure in my chest, a good few months until I started exercising again, and only recently have I renewed my confidence in my spiritual practice. Although, the thing is with this kind of loss, it will never really leave. I will carry it until I die, and I’m happy to do so; that’s how much of an impact Choy made on me.

Frankly, I do miss Choy every single day, but I take comfort knowing that he’s in Heaven, pain free, romping and playing with his brother and our other family members. One day I’ll even join him.

But my job isn’t done here on Earth. Frankly, it’s still only beginning. I still have things to do, people to help, stories to write!

Honestly, I’m proud of the growth of strength I continue to see in myself every day. Sure, I’m not invincible; there are still times where my anxiety takes over and I second guess myself.

A few months back, a distant friend of mine offered me these words of encouragement:

Motto #1: “Don’t let the bastards get you down!”
Motto #2: “The tough times are what define us.”

I cannot begin to express my awe and gratitude at receiving these words at that point in my life; they were exactly what I needed to hear. Mom, dad, and I had a lot of challenges hit us all at once in the first few months of 2016. Ones that we never saw coming.

I firmly believe now that, in a way, we needed these events to happen. Too long had we been at a standstill, too long had I been mourning; we needed to be jolted out of our rut and thrust back into living. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I really, really wish that some of these events hadn’t happened. But, like my friend said, they truly defined us… they truly showed me the kind of person I am, what I need to work on, and where my true values lie.

So, don’t let a horrible circumstance get you down. Eventually you’ll find your way out of it–maybe not as quickly as we’d want, but the Universe has a way of sending us what we need. God is always watching over us and just waiting for us to ask for help. I know I wouldn’t have gotten through Choy’s death, these new circumstances, or anything that might surprise me in the future without Him. And Zad. And new friends, old, and family members.

It’s only life after all.

Writing Updates, Crimson Peak — HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

First off, let me say, I have been listening to “Valse Sur Une Berceuse Anglaise” ON FREAKING REPEAT since I saw Crimson Peak last Monday. The music plays in the background as Thomas Sharpe (Tom Hiddleston) woos Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska) into demonstrating the Viennese waltz. The following ensues:

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Yes. A highly romantic scene, a dance between two meant-to-be lovers, spouses caught in a horrible plot.

(THEY ARE MEANT TO BE. I WILL ACCEPT NO OTHER ANSWERS. FIGHT ME.)

Honestly, if Thomas Sharpe and Edith Cushing had been in a Jane Austen novel–especially if Tom Hiddleston played a male love interest–GODI think feminine hormones would take over the world and kill us all. Seriously. Go check Tumblr right now. I guarentee within the first page you’ll find someone gushing over Tom.

(I’m one of them.)

I swear, I SWEAR I was over gushing over Tom Hiddleston. And then the Victorian Gothic Romance fangirl in me reared her head. Doomed, I say! Doomed!

Others are making a big deal of the sex scene in Crimson Peak. Me? The waltz was my downfall.

“There are two kinds of people” as Tumblr likes to say.

Speaking of big deals, I found out that they announced Museum of Words last Friday when I was sick. I wasn’t surprised that I didn’t win. I was hoping I would, but I didn’t expect it, like I do with most things. It was a slim shot for anyone, at best. 35,000 stories were entered; the chances were slim at best for anyone. Furthermore, I think most contests look for literature-type, “real world” submissions anymore (unless they specifically look for fantasy, sci-fi, or speculative fiction). My style is more in line with pop culture. A fangirl through and through.

Honestly, I read the submission that won. Brava. She definitely deserved it, I will say that.

As JackSepticEye says in GTA V with Markiplier, Bob, and Wade, “I ain’t even mad, bro.”

(Maybe a little disheartened, but not mad.)

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Anyways, so here’s the hopeful optimist in me coming out. I have a theory: maybe I’m not winning contests or getting selected for journal submissions because my “big win” is going to be Angel’s novel being published. Maybe, just maybe, God is saving that moment, a “winning” moment, for when I will truly enjoy it. Isn’t that how he always works? Gives us what we need, not what we want?

I have confidence that you guys and gals will enjoy Angel’s story. And I’m excited for you to read it. Personally, I’m just happy the Museum of Words loss didn’t cripple me like I feared it would.

I also think Crimson Peak had excellent timing. Due to my obsession with the waltz (yes, obsession), I’ve been distracted in a moment where, in another time, I would’ve been depressed for longer. Points for you, God. Points for you. Funny how that all works out.

Bonus: I’m excited for you all to see my first Writing Updates video over on YouTube! I talk about my plans going into this next week regarding my writing. I’m definitely expected Writing Updates to be an ongoing thing, through NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and beyond. After all, people keep asking me how my writing’s going. Why not check out my videos for a more in-depth answer?

Hope you guys and gals have a happy and safe HALLOWEEN!! (Still have no idea what I’m dressing as. Instagram will surely reveal my decision!)

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Meeting My Guardian Angel; The Year of Rebuilding

So I finally, FINALLY, FINALLY uploaded a new YouTube video!

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Honestly, it took long enough. It’s been a crazy summer, in both senses of the word — exciting and disorienting. Some of which you all have read about in the past few weeks.

As I write, the Arborists are taking down another set of Blue Spruces trees. In the midst of all of them, there are some healthy ones too. There’s this one tree they have yet to take down. I labeled him the “chair” tree. Its base curved in its growth, causing it to appear like a chair.

Sigh. I think it’s next on the list. I was hoping they would keep it. (Edit: they did not.)

My spine tenses as I hear the saws work. I can see just a corner of the patch they are cutting. No. Clearing.

Choy’s sister, Wella, is rubbing, lovingly, against my shoulder as I type.

Zadkiel, my Guardian Angel, is speaking words of comfort. Almost continuously.

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That’s who my YouTube video is about. My Guardian Angel: Zadkiel.

I talk about this summer, briefly. But the Vlog is mainly about how I encountered him a year ago. It’s a… baring of my heart. Of my soul. Of what I feel is right to talk about. Of what should not be hidden.

Last year I was coasting: spiritually, and, in some ways, with my book. I remember I wrote a lot of my book — inspired by Midwest Writers. But… something was missing. There was a disconnect. My book focused largely on angels, but I didn’t know if I was portraying them accurately. If I was writing what I should be writing.

And then, last August, I met my Guardian Angel. After months of praying to God that I could talk to him (or her), be friends, learn. Remarkably, I did. Amazingly, he’s been around my whole life. Waiting. Helping. Guiding. Protecting.

This past year has been absolutely amazing. It’s been a year of renewal and remodeling. Zad’s shown me so much. Every day I see more — experience more. My mind has been opened… sometimes to things I was afraid of doing before. But knowing that he’s there, that I’m protected, I feel like I can finally learn. And my book is becoming something powerful. Something that might inspire, help, change, make people think. Which is what I’ve wanted from the beginning: to help and inspire.

The trees being taken down, yes, it’s very, very hard to watch. But through hardships one can learn. Sometimes through things we can’t bear, God educates us, leads us to a better life. Even if it means taking it down and starting over.

Next year, after the Blue Spruce’s air has cleared, we are going to plant new life. My mom wants to plant a circle of Redwoods, surrounding a carefully tended, brand new, Blue Spruce. Coincidentally enough, that is almost an exact copy of The Fur Circle in my novel. Mom didn’t even remember.

“Further evidence that it’s meant to happen.” Mom said, referencing both the trees and my novel.

This is just the start. While we may not understand what is happening here, in the present, one day we’ll look back from the future and see the lesson. See what we were meant to newly understand. I look back now and feel blessed that I am one of the individuals who have opened their mind to wonder. That I have learned new things about the world around us, and the multiple worlds that lay beyond. I get the feeling that the world is changing. Spiritually, for the better. That something amazing is coming. That one day we will look beyond our daily needs and focus on bettering each other, the environment around us. Maybe, in that sense, the Mayans were right.

I can’t wait to see what happens.

“Have faith.” My Grandma Nolletti would say.

I do.

So take a look a my new Vlog, where I tell the story of how I met my Guardian Angel:

Do you have a paranormal story? A story of an angelic encounter? Do you talk to your Guardian Angel or God? Tell me below in the comments. Or contact me privately. I would love to hear from you!