Category Archives: life

A Story About Spirits

“It has been a difficult week.”

It seems that those words have left my mouth much too often the past few years; there have been a lot of struggles, whether it be through deaths, life changes, concerns for the future… the list really is endless.

This Tuesday marks the week anniversary of Sir William Oliver’s passing. He was our last Golden Retriever of a long line of five dogs. (His legacy will be carried on through Brutus, who is adored by his human, my cousin Jon.) I realized, though, that this was the first time in my life there hasn’t been a canine in my household. It’s a sad thing; no more large scampering paws on tile floor, random barking that signals a potty break, or trying to navigate the kitchen without plummeting to the floor due to the sleeping body right in front of the refrigerator.

I know it’ll be a long time before I have another dog in my life. Our Goldens were just that: golden. They were loving dogs that never asked for anything in return, but we gave it to them because they were a part of our hearts. Yes, there was the random annoyance of cleaning deer poop out of their hair after they romped through the woods, and poison ivy was always a possible side-effect of their hugs, but we did it anyways because we loved them with all our hearts.

It’s been a week and I seem to be coming out of my mourning; instead I am celebrating the lives of Scuttle, Goldie, Jewel, Baby, and Oliver that touched us deeply. They are no longer suffering. Instead, they’re on the other side, their presence always around us, supporting us, loving us, being there when we cry.

If we listen quietly, we can witness their spirits thriving–feel their breaths on our face, hear their scampering paws, and, for a split moment, try to catch ourselves as we almost trip, seeing, for a moment, a large golden body lying on kitchen floor in front of the refrigerator.

Our loved ones are never gone. They’re in the reality that we will, one day, reach as well. This life is temporary and, sometimes, full of pain. But it’s also filled with blessings; furry, fuzzy, human, canine, feline, or other joys that make this journey magical.

Love makes life worthwhile.  It’s why we’re here; to learn, to love, to try, to fail, to get back up again. Love is God, the Creator, the source of the Universe.

I love you, Sir William Oliver. Say hi to the gang and tell them I love them all. And I will try to love others, as you so selflessly loved me.

Rest. In peace.

As a side note (to Ghost Hunters Casting)

CONFESSION TIME. 


It’s not that I don’t want to be a part of this new Ghost Hunters venture… I think it’s more a fear of change and a fear of things-not-fitting-together. Especially being the uber-planner I am. I would love to do this. It would be a fantastic thing to be paid to travel and go to haunted locations to poke around in the middle of the night.

Oh yes. I would love that.

(But no one’s going to know until after June 13th)

But my true passion lies with my writing. With my book. With Angel. And my family. Definitely my family and my hometown, here in Wooster, too. I would hate to leave those behind, or have to re-adapt them somehow to my new lifestyle. But if I had to, I would.

(Really I’m just worried about working around Midwest Writers and my brother’s wedding)

And I’m also kind of scared of my book not working out. That it would get published and *poof* not many people would love it.

… and then I’d have to get a real job that I’d just be like

for the rest of my life…

If anyone says being an artist is easy, they’re lying. Thank God for Faith.

Ah… this is just a 1:45AM ramble… when I could just be sleeping or writing.

Carry on.

Hellllloooooo May!

So far May has been an amazing, truly wonderful, month. I took part in a voice recital yesterday, successfully singing “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” and making A LOT of people cry. MWHAHAHA!! Though… I almost broke character because of this. Apparently my subconscious wanted me to triumphantly laugh in the middle of the song. Twice. I got a huge compliment yesterday too, something I’m still reeling from! 

Really the only SMALL annoying thing about May is that I still have this wart on my foot. Aaaand I broke down and bought some Compound W today. The clear nail polish wasn’t doing it fast enough. Man, I hate this stuff. HAAATE. But it works. By eating a hole in your foot. Which I can feel now. TMI. Ew. 
And I’ve decided to attend the Midwest Writers Workshop in Muncie, IN in July. I CAN’T WAIT. I just hope I get my manuscript done before then. Hello nerves. I missed you. (Not really)
Though did they really leave? Because I’m meeting Josh Gates in less than two weeks. And THAT is freaking me out. 
Seriously. I am finding the inability to breathe. 
ME RIGHT NOW:
Seriously. Life is too amazing right now, with it’s wonderful possibilities. I just… hope… it all works out. Please, God. Please.